Nothing is more vulgar than a meaningful statement about the fact that all psychological problems from childhood. Greatest banality, which, unfortunately, reflects the truth of our lives.
foundation which is laid in the first Years of Our Lives, defines all of our future existence - why and how we are unhappy, where and why we will strive for that and for what purpose we will spend our lives, then to look back and regret to admit - it was all in vain.
Something is with us in childhood is why we then have to run all his life. Like a cat with a tail attached to a tin can, we try to escape from the clanking of steel teeth of the truth. But the faster we run, the louder and humiliating crashing behind us, and the apparent futility.
And we are well know from what we run. That is, of course, we do not needlessly straining, and often we have been able to get out of this terrifying knowledge - we might even lead a lot of arguments and convince everyone around that tin can rattle on our tail - it's such an exclusive designer accessory, not a mockery of life above our self-conceit.
But something within us continually maintain sobriety and does not forget the bitter truth is too long. Somewhere in there, not very deep, even, we do know - something with us is very wrong.
Now, when we are grown and independent people, we are harder to find this sense - as a uniform white noise, which has successfully filtered by our hearing aids, we have deliberately learn to make us uncomfortable awareness somewhere far beyond brackets.
But as a child the feeling was the air that we breathe - it was the common denominator of all our actions and discoveries. Somewhere out there in kindergarten and school days, we are constantly haunted feeling that something goes wrong - an indefinite but very painful embarrassment for themselves.
Fall, which we did not make, hell, who does not deserve the price paid for the fruit of the tree of knowledge, which we do not eaten, but imbibed with mother's milk. And here we are poisoned, a paradise for us is closed, and from that day we will never be truly satisfied. Thirst will haunt us all the more inevitable, and painful, the more we utolayaem it.
We are trying to atone for sin, which is not made to cure disease, which has never been hurt, surrender yourself, because once we have clearly given to understand that love is still needed to win, but the fact of birth - A loan with high interest, we must pay in full before we will be allowed to get rid of the yoke of slavery and be happy.
And now our whole life becomes a redemption. We are born, we breathe air, eat, drink and Gadim, and for all this have to justify - prove right to their cubic meter of air and cherish the hope that if we try well enough, then we get a chance to snatch a shred of his love and simple human happiness.
But for this we must tirelessly work on yourself - after all deal with sinful by its nature is not so simple! Just relax, just отпустишь поводья, чуть отвлечешься — и вот он грех снова на лицо и на лице. А потому расслабляться нельзя, надо себя контролировать, надо сдерживать its low-lying nature, even if it will have to castrate himself.
We are looking for happiness in the redemption and overcoming, in the victory of reason over nature, our soul. We believe that, burning with hot iron all unworthy in ourselves, we do better and thereby reaffirm its right to exist. We are rebelling against themselves, believing that so engages in the battle against evil, but that's how we are destroying in himself all the good and condemns himself to eternal exile.
We are changing our freedom and individuality, the standard quality certificate, confirming our right to live among the people and enjoy the benefits of social structure. Great honor!
It seems to us that we are born, and therefore doomed. But is it really?
child is born with a pure soul - He is not tainted by sin, no guilt and no fear to himself.
sin, guilt and fear arise later, when parental affection pink lump subsided, and his place occupied by fatigue and the undercurrent of irritation. As soon as the little guy gets a bone in the throat parent selfishness, both immediately and start implementing a more supple mind the idea of good and evil, sin and redemption.
Strong parent does not need that call on their side moral and divine laws, when a child needs to introduce the framework and rules in this life. Weak parent is afraid to show their power, because at heart does not feel worthy to do, and because it shifts the responsibility for their selfish tyranny on a set of moral values.
Strong parent says - «Do not do it because I do not want it» . He was leader of the pack and has the right to set their own laws. Weak parent says - «Do not do it because it's bad." He is afraid to show their will and suffer responsible for it, so calls to help foreign laws and regulations.
When a child makes a mistake, a strong parent gives the child to understand - «No matter what, I love you, but for the fact that you broke my ban will be punished» . Weak parent inspires otherwise - «You did bad, and I offended by your disobedience ». And it is this resentment becomes a punishment, and it is much more painful and destructive than a formal denial of sweet or half an hour in the corner. For parental irresponsibility and cowardice is paying child.
In the first case, the child receives feedback - action and consequences. He will be unpleasant and uncomfortable, that the world is not quite true, as desired, but his soul will not be injured. Sentence end and nothing but the small notches on the memory remains. To do so - will remain without a sweet.
In the second case, the child also receives feedback but in a manner that hurts him the most sensitive and vulnerable place. Weak parent trades and manipulates his love. Will you behave yourself - I will love. Will naughty - hurt and love I will not. Such a parent is blackmailing the child the most precious to him - love, acceptance.
And it is hence arises the fear of the dark side of our soul. We quickly smekaem that our bad qualities - those that are so uncomfortable and do not like our parents, - Put us to the brink of survival. We literally and think that if we do not izzhivem in itself is 'evil', then die.
And so they formed a sense of our sinfulness, which we then carry through all his life. Stone on the neck we put on our parents, condemning us to death to seek pardon for what we've never been to blame. But even when parents are long dead and no longer make excuses to anyone, we no longer can get rid of faith in their own inferiority and are now looking for redemption in their own eyes. And then complete the cycle - to bear children, and their views on the proper and tear on the low-lying parts of their soul and forces to carry through life is our own cross ... to seek forgiveness.
But parents are not guilty. Responsible, but not to blame.
They also bear his cross ... as they can.
0 comments:
Post a Comment