Series "gatherings in the bourgeois salons"
Youth squandering himself, in vain or for nothing, and the maturity and old age of this regret. But the youth would not understand his wealth, much less to gain worldly wisdom. Perhaps it is in this paradox is an unfortunate fact of life: youth is doomed to ignorance and recklessness windy, old age - in late, tired cognition. Adolescence lightly burn yourself, not sparing the motives and feelings, and in old age sensitivity is dulled so that the motives for good actions longer seem worthy enough. Therefore, if human life is a small chance, most likely he founded in adulthood. And most likely he is to be able to grow old right to use the errors of youth. That's why I sometimes write. Thus, the sunset years of the second millennium have been for me and my friend Eugenia time itself that neither is frivolous youth, frivolous waste of physical and mental energy going nowhere. Appreciated if only the feelings: those that excites us the art (not art itself), those who brings the love (and not the love), those who gives sexual pleasure (rather than sexuality itself in all its spiritual power). And now, the summer of 1999 while we visited with Eugene nudist beaches on the outskirts of the city, alternating these hikes with a concert of organ music in the cathedral, our classmate II chose the traditional path of knowledge: it is like to communicate with people like everywhere else looking for a boyfriend. I. to dress up, paint and go to the Russian parties, while we are frank with Eugene, hiding in the bushes near the lake. It is logical: bold girls in the age of 16 prefer timid intimate touching 20-year old boys, and courageous young man in 16 years - often ... other courageous young men. And do not because it is they like, absolutely not. And not even because they do not want to be like everyone else. Rather, simply because it suited them at the age of 13-year-old girl such touching is not allowed at any cost. Actions boys the same in every way hidden, denied, forbidden, but it does not change their often tragic необходимости и их сомнительной познавательно-экспериментальной ценности. Потому, хотя мы с Евгением и вожделели очень страстно нашу одноклассницу И., вкусную and spicy blonde with a magnificent bust, all that remained to us then - it's back-to exchange our nocturnal fantasies and wet dreams. However, I confess, Even these brief meetings gave an unforgettable experience and a little with what comparable in their severity perverted. We wondered about this behavior only with the advent Alexander. At least I was the first time questioned the correctness of our secret experiments.
with Alexander introduced me to AI, which itself became acquainted with him in a regular company, and immediately put seriously at him. After all, Alex has been (and probably still is) a man illustrative, and almost everywhere. Not only that, he was two years older than us, athletic complex and attractive, that he had already graduated with honors from high school and entered into a prestigious university. All this was considered secondary. More important it was thought that he came from a very intelligent, respectable and well-to-do family (his father - Dr. and businessman, and parents and relatives of the father - all university professors), has been brought about, well read not for years, and it seemed, could give the girl that almost all of them are more or less consciously expect from a guy: a worthy replacement suddenly somewhere vanished father in combination with tenderness, care and persistence. Alexander is ideally suited for this role if only because he almost was not interested in "this".
seemed that in his 18 years in spite of the lack of any experience in the physical links in the first place for him was in a relationship, sex is not interested. He cared and restraint, and even when hugging I.'s waist, did not do it as a teenager, suffering spermotoksikozom as well as the mature husband. When the crowd of drunken skinheads excessively frivolous flirting with "our" girl, he always stood up for her and climbed into the fray with five even alone. In the trolley he gives way to older, and the girlfriend of his friend did not let myself look even with a shy smile. Once, when I once sat on the other side of the MI on the couch, her hand passing hurt her knee, this utterly correct and monogamous type immediately called me to talk. Therefore, for the majority of adolescent girls impregnated by romantic representations from head to foot, a handsome young man from St. Petersburg, and is certainly a role model, personified the good prince on a white horse, since he could even drive father's car. For me, personally remains a mystery, whether it is conduct in regard to women's only a model of prudent costs of education, but in fact he secretly suffered similar bouts of excessive libido like everyone else, or Alexander in fact already been so highly conscious. And, of course, this mystery will forever remain a mystery, perhaps even to himself.
Whatever it was, the reason for our friendship served as the nineteenth day birth of Alexander, to which he invited the five to seven of his close friends, IM, and our correspondence with Eugene (IV managed to tell his new friend about her bohemian former classmates, and he certainly showed curiosity). Moreover, he personally overcame two hundred kilometers from his village to Leipzig on the new my father's golf to pick up the three of us and take an apartment, where he lived a respectable family.
parents and younger sister of Alex at the time prudently flew to St. Petersburg. Despite the absolute confidence in their offspring, they would not want to contemplate arranged their mess, let alone stop him from celebrating with friends. Only the next morning, I realized how well they did.
When we were at the scene, it appeared that everyone else is already in the collection, and already even under Shafei. Was the best friend of Alexander Tosha named Sent, ex-girlfriend Alexandra Maria, a polyglot and a student of the Higher School of Performing Arts, athlete legkootlet Sergei, who soon had to serve in the army and two of some puny twin brother presented to us as former classmates Alexander, now a physics and mathematics students. The apartment was bright and spacious. And as I looked admiringly huge family library, my friend, musician immediately sat down at the old piano, piled in the center of the living room. Bach sounded, or rather some sort of creepy improvisation, not only play, but listen to you was given only to the pianist. Therefore, Alexander half paternal, half in a friendly hit Eugene on the shoulder and shouted in his ear, shouting piano: "Stop mullet, perch, communicated better with Toshey.
course, Eugene had no choice but to immediately follow this advice. I do not без предвкушения приготовился слушать их разговор, обещающий быть по меньшей мере веселым. Но Евгений на этот раз не последовал своей привычке и не начал говорить about music. He boldly asked Tose, lean bespectacled intellectuals:
- Tosha, and why you called sent?
- sent.
in the living room there was general laughter. Only the Eugene perplexed. He asked:
- What did you say?
- I said, "Send".
- who sent?
- you, who else!
- I sent?
- Yes! You sent! - Yelled Tosha, mindedness which his companion had already begun to irritate.
Then finally came to Eugene and he priumolk. Alexander also, Maria and twins guffaws on the floor with laughter, despite the fact that such dialogues with Toshey sure they were already familiar with. I felt all this direct challenge and decided to play a little with Toshey, that is, work out in words. Also, I felt embarrassed and sorry for the other, and then I took a small revenge. It all began so:
- Send, and you jolly type.
- Sent.
Funny, but rude and cynical.
- sent.
Everything continued to laugh hysterically, already out of inertia. But I am not confused:
- Listen, Send, I, as the Buddha, many names. Some call me Fenya other cologne, and some, when I was angry, called "Mozgotrah" - I was improvising on the fly.
- Sent you.
- What smart, huh?
- sent.
- Your Cologne-Mozgotrah sent?
- sent, sent.
- Mozgotrah sent message? But who's going to fuck his message a little warm brain?
- Sent!
- Sam chtoli? Well, you're really stuck ... Mozgotrah sent message stuck, do not want to have a message to the brain ... Well, it's a good start, for example blank verse.
- Yes, probably. But all the same - sent you with my verse and sent to a good start.
- And the hearth, too, sent the message?
- Yes. Sent.
- all sent?
- Yes everything! And you, too. So far, no truncating or what? "
Tosha raged. Widespread laughter continued. At this point, it occurred to me to try to apply with Toshey Socratic method. And I continued:
- No, not yet truncating. Hence, Mozgotrah and hearth were sent Toshey-Message pOslanyatsya. But they are blunt, so the message is still not usekli. But usekli that Tosha - sent.
- sent.
- Tosha, I truncating you - sent. But with a capital letter, or did a little?
Tosha thoughtful. But not for long. He suddenly said:
- sent. With three letters. Understand you have finally!
I also pondered. And then slid Tose following:
- So you did was sent with a small letter, and with three. Thus, from the blunt dialogue with you, I understand that you stuck on your own behalf, the word sent. It turns out that with you only at the beginning of fun to say but then quickly becomes boring and then you yourself become sent. But, Tosha, it's not all. At this point - again - and your opponent gets inspiration above. Until it comes not only what you - sent with a capital letter, or send a small, in terms sent by the opponent. But this is the your opponent is still and suddenly realizes, why call you sent. This is the answer to the first ever completely logical question Gene. Call you sent (with a small letter), because that you, in fact, he always sent. This is called the "return" - as she hit the butt on the shoulder after firing a machine gun. So, if you're in the very actually becomes completely sent to the opponent, sent a hundred percent, or all three letters ... Become sent to all because all you say "send". I think you're in my heart is very lonely ... And in my heart too ...
Tosha silent. Others, too, willy-nilly priumolkli. I took advantage of this sudden numbness, deep breathed air, and suddenly with all the dope Tose yelled in his ear:
- truncating the hell?? YOU - Send! Is you - Send! With one big letters on the three small! And we Shostak .... we it ... go poslAnyaemsya chtoli until you got stuck.
So until we get up with Eugene and disposed of in a deathly silence, and Tosha rumbling after me, something like "tired of, cologne Galimov, Alexander was laughing and suddenly yells at us strange, but the historic phrase:
"Rukodelnichayte, pink clowns! "
And then all of us again becomes really fun.
It was an amazing evening, filled with many adventures: one of the very few truly wonderful evening. Rare moments of border youth, when everyone does exactly what can that he wants to do and does it with feeling, without thinking about use, nor about the dangers nor the consequences. Such an action is called "spontaneous game of life." "The Game" instead of "Genesis" - at that time favorite Shakespeare trick. Eugene played the piano, I played with words and colors, and Alexander VI played in Love at first sight. Tosha Sent stubbornly played with his pet - large Vasya tarantula, which he brought with him in a jacket pocket. Masha played in the theater of the absurd, Sergei played with a smoky gray kitten younger sister, Alex, kitten is playing with a guinea pig of the Alex ... And the twins ... What and who played the twins? No, the twins are already in anything anybody did not play: they have something to tell of quantum mechanics. And nobody does not care what nobody except the twins did in this most mechanics do not understand ...
When we are with Eugene returned from a walk, alcohol flowed a river, and the apartment has not looked like a battlefield. Alexander commanded by cooking a sumptuous dinner. In our company, he was the only who had a reputation for excellent cook many dishes and we are still preparing for his recipes. Besides art, he enjoyed playing the guitar and singing, of course, the entire Russian "Classics" of Vysotsky to our beloved rising star, had just released his first album "Zemfira". "I'm choking on the tenderness by your-my freshness, "- softly sang I., hugging his big bust of Alexander. Drunken Jack in a fit of jealousy was not able to withstand this touching scene. Because it is ridiculous to imitate a star, a heart-rending verescha and heavily jumping around the room. Shuddering all his heavy body, he squeaked canary: "I'm a girl-scandal girl air! My Kenzo-Sandal, with you our birthday », and laughter from our glasses of sparkling wine fell from the sky ...
our young musical genius alone in the entire компании ненавидел «эту дуру из Башкирии». Но никому даже в голову не приходило с ним спорить. Это только потом, год спустя, уже «взрослыми», (но все еще fools) we parted with him forever because of the different musical tastes.
But while Alexander was instructed girls in the living slice of bread and vegetables, to me - clean potatoes, and Shostak - Uzbek cutting onions, that he burst into tears and could no longer squeak so loud and heart-rending. It worked. When the potatoes were cleaned and cut into thin strips, I again went into hiding on the balcony under the pretext make Joynt of hashish, tobacco and cloves, but Eugene did not have time with me - he was instructed to Fry the potatoes in the kitchen. He was indignant, as the cook could not and did not want to, but still dumped the potatoes into the pan and immediately left for me from the kitchen, closing the door. Smoke and came back, we in addition to the usual action of hashish in the room felt a strange smell, but the emphasis he was not given. We all trust in Alex his ability to keep everything under control, so its absence among us and the smell of all perceived as trouble in the kitchen, where Alex was going to cook some special garlic-fig sauce for fish. And only about a quarter of an hour later, when the acrid smell filled an entire room and it was hard to breathe some, the Athlete Sergei decided to go to the kitchen to check what is happening there. He coughed much, opening the door, and jerked away, gasping choked fled to the bathroom. Gray and pink smoke coming from burning a strange mixture, gradually filled the entire apartment. Tosha Sent bravely breathed the air, ran to the kitchen and turned off burner, and the girls in the meantime opened all the windows. Alexander, worried about the smoke, he returned to the apartment to the stairwell, where he went to talk on a cell phone for the music in the apartment. Neighbors, the Germans, worried about the same gray-pink smoke on the stairs, have already call the fire brigade. When the kitchen is already aired, and the fire had not yet arrived, Alexander decided to find out what actually was the cause of the fire. Slowly and calmly he approached the charred plate and read labels on two bottles that were near the burnt pan. On the first bottle stood "concentrated wine vinegar, a second" powder cleaning of contaminated metal surfaces greasy. " Each of the bottles was a third empty.
found that sentenced cook potatoes Our musician for some reason, poured the contents of the bottle into the pan and turned on the gas at full capacity. To the question why he did it, Jack said, innocently enough, I did it was not intentional. He supposedly thought it was the olive and vegetable oil and not even looking at them decided to mix. So, they say, always did his father when something fried. In response, Alexander glumly looked at him with a strange mixture of anger, misunderstanding and threats. When he was brandishing his fist in the face of Eugene, suddenly intervened in the altercation I kakraz remembering and telling the others that I personally saw how his father Eugene store olive oil in a bottle of vinegar. Eugene immediately rushed explain to everyone that his father - a famous musician and theoretician, an Orthodox Jew and a psychoanalyst, keeps kosher, and therefore shared the so-called kosher and non-kosher oil, molding her into an empty part of the used bottles. The question - "why in the used?" Son of the musician immediately at ease replied: "How is why?? - For the sake of saving bottles! »
Some believed him, someone not very good, but nobody wanted to spoil his holiday. All the stupid laugh and went to dance.
When firefighters arrived on the scene entered the apartment, they found inside the wildly merry drunken youths. Nobody gave the event a great importance. Alex for three minutes, all cleaned and informed the team about the false call. Then he personally prepared in another pan new, inimitable to taste the fish sauce.
By the time of the dinner was nothing left but time was about three in the morning, stocks of alcohol in his father's bar, too, has dwindled. It remained only a few bottles of beer Baltika 9 ° for girls and a bottle of Smirnoff vodka for the lads, because the twins had already begun to gather at the nearest gas station to buy supplements. But here is our athlete Sergei pushed another, according to him "brilliant" idea.
he supposedly heard from army comrades as possible intoxicate all the barracks of a single bottle of vodka. The recipe was as follows: you have to tightly close all doors and windows, poured vodka into the pan and to include gas. Gradually vodka will evaporate. According to the athlete's intoxicating alcoholic couples is much stronger than liquid alcohol, causing opyaneyut equally all who are in the room. At first did not believe him, but the twins, convinced alchemists and physicists have confirmed that all the foregoing is true and even relatively safe. Alex tried to argue, say, from the frying pan and gas today is already quite adventurous, especially on his birthday, he Alcohol does not spare the money, but Sergei philosophically assured him that the same source can bring both happiness and suffering, and Toshka-Sent in general not quite to the point said that "like cures like." As a result, a majority vote against the will of the landlord, it was decided to test themselves on the action Vodka vapor. The girls ran briskly to close the window. Sergei poured into the pan the entire liter "Smirnovki, including gas, opened the kitchen door, and returned the living room and plopped down his athletic body in the armchair. Now had only to wait from fifteen minutes to half an hour.
all quietly dispersed in different rooms, settling himself comfortably on your couch, beds and chairs. When the soft places in the apartment was nearly empty, I prefer to wait peacefully lying on Alex's couch and relax. I do not remember how much time passed since the pungent smell of alcohol filled the entire space. A pair of alcohol, caustic and shrill, occasionally made in the premises of young people sneezing and coughing. Otherwise, everything is developing according to plan: we are all slowly began to fall into light alcoholic euphoria gradually replaced by this intoxication with concomitant progressive loss of sense of reality. And no one knew how much vodka is left in the pan, and how much fun will last and when the dawn. Will there be any? - Such an approach seems one does not care. Suffocate from alcoholic fumes like the Jews from choking poison gas chambers in Auschwitz? What - is simply c'est la vie.
From the heady stupor I was suddenly brought a cat meowing painfully across the room. Looks like she got drunk and choked. I got up a little on the couch and looked around. Gray kitten was sitting in the far corner in the doorway of a convulsive twitching all over, as if from a cold, and sometimes softly moaned. Nearby from him in a large cage with sawdust rustling concerned guinea pig Alexa. I quietly watched the two animals, though in semi-delirium, without taking no action. And the truth is: why? ...
sudden accident steamed vodka kitten and a cage with a pig covered an ominous black shadow. I raised my eyes. At the door there was a female figure. It was our AI. Drunkenly staggering and holding in one hand an opened bottle of beer, she glanced into the room and stood, leaning his head on the door jamb. For a while, she also oversaw the groaning kitten and guinea pig in a cage, with downcast eyes and madly turning the pupils. Then, like a somnambulist, She held out her hand toward the cat, leaned a bottle of beer and taking aim, poured about a cup of alcohol on his head like a poor animal. Kitten started, tried to shake off, a heart-rending myavknul and ran to the kitchen. A VI has continued to stand in the doorway. A minute later, she again held out her hand with a bottle on This time, the direction of the cage with a pig, and slowly, carefully poured beer all filings "snake", not forgetting, of course, and the animal. Locked in a cage Mumps hysterically tossed in his confinement, tangling mountain alcohol-soaked sawdust. But the AI only with a sad sigh, leaned over to the cage, only to neatly put an empty beer bottle beside her. Then she lifted her eyes toward my couch and glared at me with piercing eyes weary. I seemed to be drowning and was dissolved in her big blue eyes. Did she at that time I, or anyone else - that's what I learned just this morning.
I do not remember exactly how many lasted this spectacular dumb, how long we have not taken apart the eyes. I only remember that at some time, tired IV leaned forward and slowly stepped toward the couch. Then she threw one leg and fell on me with all his magnificent body, dropping his heavy head on her shoulder and type soft lips in my neck. At the moment I first felt some warm blissful oneness, joy and ecstasy. But this pleasant union of our bodies did not last long. Gradually, it became very hot and lying on my IV started to weigh me. I panted, quite like a kitten (or pig?), Whether under the weight of a girl with a lush bust, either because of high concentrations of vodka fumes from the awareness that our shamelessness with MI in relation to Alex and his bed, or on a combination of all above. I also think that this very drunk Bonding served became the first reason for my passion sexually spiritual practices. But then I do not even know these words. Some time later under the influence of excess vodka fumes, I collapsed, unable to even moan or meow.
* * *
I woke up only in the afternoon - on what gets sent to me by the shoulders shook and slapped his palms on his cheeks, lovingly saying "Wake up, cologne, philosopher fucking ...». Despite the terrible pain in my head, excruciating aches throughout the body and such an insulting manner of awakening, I am glad that is still alive. I opened my eyes and looked around. It was light, next lay, still slung over my one leg, languid and warm body Tosha I. Now, gently patting his cheeks girl, do not forget to sip her chest and occasionally slapping on the ass. I think that the AI just woke up from the last - I knew that she secretly adored such affection. We stared stupidly each other, and our cynical friend muttered sternly: "Both females are sent under a cold shower! Then - a march to the kitchen! Alex, blah, omelet you have prepared. "In a stuffy, smelling of alcohol air is really vital subtle aroma of fried eggs and fried meat. Although we both could then remember the night events only with difficulty, breakfast cooked for us by Alex, a guy I., evoked a strange mixture of feelings of bewilderment, admiration and distrust. Yet heeding the message Toshi, we trudged along a slightly staggered to the bathroom. When the door closed behind us, I. pounced on me with reproaches. Almost in hysterics she howled:
- What the hell are you doing in our bed?
- in yours? I just lay down with Alex to rest, as nowhere else the place was not. And that's why you came and went with me, that's for you most know better.
- I went and lay down to thee! - At her doll face reflected surprise and she almost cried in their hearts:
- No! I went and lay down to Alex!
- Yes, of course to Alex ... Just woke up for some reason with me - I assured her, stroking her hair fondly.
was a long pause. After that, I added:
- Firstly, drink plenty of fluids is uniquely harmful. Secondly, we both soon definitely be a problem. Although Alex and says he loves the hippie, to free him another relationship far.
- Yes, of course, and I'm even better! Therefore, the problems will be only you.
- Well, we shall soon see. In the meantime, let's go taste it an omelet.
in the shower, I quickly sobered up, recovered and reached a common concept of behavior. Still, last night I drank far less than the others. And in the end, I had an airtight alibi. This is not I came to evaporate the vodka, and I am not lured into bed II. Rather, I have not taken any active steps, but simply was a victim of circumstances and others' fantasies. But Alex, of course, could be another way of looking at things.
Coming out of the bathroom, living room, we found pale and tired and sleepy householder guests writhing in agony Pokhmelnykh. The room was in shambles: at the dinner table towered a mountain of dirty dishes with obedkami, and a small coffee table were prepared for us I. two full plates of scrambled eggs and minced meat.
- Good morning or good afternoon, my dear, - with a sarcastic smile on his lips welcomed Alex us, giving each device and napkins: - Welcome to the harsh reality. I wish you bon appetit.
We have instruments with obvious disbelief. Of course, I decided that until better shut up, and VI did not survive and yet asked:
- And why others do not eat?
- one who could have eaten, but most of us just hurts «Kater». A you eat, eat, unless of course you can, - with his usual sarcasm said Tosha sent.
of the plates with the meat came weird flavor. But look the dish is quite bearable and appetizing, with the exception of some grains and cereals, which were strewn with eggs. However, I did not pay attention to it, as the first felt hungry, and secondly in such circumstances, it seemed inappropriate to torment themselves unwelcome thoughts, and Alex's silly questions, the more about food.
«As long as Alex in a good mood, it is necessary to use it," - I thought to myself, and cut a piece of fried eggs, sprinkled with strange cereal.
Omelet was delicious. Prevented only all the same strange, but vaguely familiar taste, remember that I could not and did not want. Cereals and grains fun crunching on the teeth. We ate in silence for a long time: there was someone deep in thought, someone has coped with the physical pain and nausea, and Tosha, and Alex, these lepshie friends in conspiratorially at each other with each other. When our plates were empty, IV did not survive the first. She asked two friends:
- What are you so weird exchanges glances? What's up, damn it??
Tosha Sent stubbornly continued to pretend that everything is OK. But Alexander suddenly seized by a fit of laughter. He was laughing hysterically, holding his stomach. Then, timidly began to giggle and others present. Then Tosha overlooking leader unhurried gestured at the TV in the corner, and solemnly proclaimed one single Keyword: "The climax!»
* * *
TV was turned off. But top on the lid, piled four empty cans of canned cat Wiskas.
Nearby lay empty plastic bags, which were depicted various small rodents.
While we are aware of what is happening (for me it lasted a few seconds, for about half a minute IV), all, of course, neighing like horses. On this occasion, many probably even forgotten his pain in the stomach. The joke was a success for one hundred percent. We brought with I. ridiculed. And while I quietly wondered how on my stomach after yesterday's booze impact of this breakfast food for cats and guinea pigs Tosha burst into genuine laughter, saying: He sent his nerd-philosopher, cologne, and sent poor naive blonde ... "A sportsman Sergei indicative politely asked us: "Do you want to supplement our Lord? There in the kitchen after a little more remains to Shostak. »
Only now struck me, that apart from us with IV two more in the company behaved in a strange way. Our musical genius Eugene sat in a chair in the corner with his eyes closed and humming to himself under his breath, or napping, or meditating. He was for some reason all the forces pretended that everything that happens it does not care. And now I began to wonder why. It Of course, awakened and fed a beautiful omelet first. Charred stove, burnt frying pan, pink and black smoke in the kitchen wall - all this yesterday disgrace for Alex too was not in vain. As the saying goes: "He took revenge on us, and his revenge was terrible." And funny. After all, even with IM, we did not stop stupid smile at each other.
Nevertheless, he now Alex does not look neither happy nor satisfied. He also did not seem a man who managed with dignity and have fun avenge her new friends arranged for them at his birthday party mayhem. No, he is somehow contrary looked very sad, tired, grim and stopped laugh at us before the others.
When all slowly died down, Tosha again made a hand gesture of the leader, this time towards the balcony door and thunder a voice said solemnly: "Attention! Attention! This was the culmination! And now, in fact, the denouement. »
his voice became softer, and then gradually wilted. Almost in a whisper, he added:
«Comrade Sergei, I ask you to pay the victims. Our posthumously awarded the smaller brothers. »
He folded his arms in mourning bow. Then the athlete Sergey a peasant got up off the couch and went to the balcony. While he was rummaging in standing there dirty cardboard box, all eyes were fixed on him. Finally, the athlete pulled out of the box two fuzzy lumps.
Sergei introduced them into the room, holding both hands over long tails - furry little corpses two small animals - gray kitten and guinea pig. From them came disgusting smell of beer and rotten wood shavings. Slizkov nasty liquid then the blood, or bile, dripping with fur on the floor. On the necks of these poor animals were bred thin ribbons made more likely with candy boxes, donated by us Alex's birthday. The corpse was wrapped in a kitten blue ribbon, in the guinea pig - softly pink. It looked frankly eerie still life in the literal sense and disgusting and pathetic. Tosha in the meantime making a speech:
- Our little pets in this dreadful night were sent cologne and IV straight to hell. Died heroically, as a result of forced alcohol poisoning, "ruff", I mean a mixture of Baltika 9 ° »with vodka. Rewarded posthumously. - Quiet but solemnly explained the Tosha, pointing to a holiday ribbon on the necks of the corpses.
Sergei least ceremonially hoisted fetid little corpses on the two empty plates, standing right under our noses. We are horrified I. estranged.
Alexander also looked very angry and growled at us strongly and sharply:
- Got Game?! Wags, shit! This is for you for dessert! Now both - zhrite! Zhrite blah, whom they say!
In anger, he ran up to us, grabbed her neck ruchischami over and tried to force delete our faces in the dish. But standing next to Sergei silently removed his hand. I. We have closed toes and face with his hands.
* * *
While I was trying to recover from the shock, IV burst into tears. Perhaps only now, she remembered yesterday's ridiculous watering of animals beer Baltika 9 ° "straight from the bottle. I also was so sincerely sorry for them that I did not even make excuses and explains the guests that I actually have nothing to do with it. And anyway, maybe the animals would have just choked on one of vodka.
yet I thought about the real cause of their death, and Sergei was cleaning dishes, packing the bodies in plastic bags, IV suddenly fell down from his seat, rushed to open wide open balcony and resolutely climbed over the iron railings. Standing over the emptiness at the height of the fourth floor and holding only one hand on the railing, She looked back at us with their big eyes, though the last time. It looks like she really met jump ...
* * *
And yet all we all looked at her dumbfounded, unable to even move, only one, Alex quickly rushed to the balcony, leaning over the railing and out of all forces grabbed her with his strong hands under the lush feeding.
At this point, all genuinely happy, but we still Shostak and simultaneously thinking: "Well at last and he decided! »
Alex meanwhile, has caught her by the arm and turned back to the balcony. No wonder he is still involved in aikido. Then he put on a dirty blonde cement floor, his arms and said: "Not that there nerves passed, yeah? Stupid fool!! »
In response to AI just kissed him on the lips and whispered, half-mad polublagodarno: "Forgive me, dear ... Forgive me ... I love you ... I love you ... I love ... »
* * *
We all stood in silent delight and embarrassment of this touching love scene.
Only Tosha Sent naturally drew from his pocket a tarantula Basil and gently stroking him, as touching whispered, squeaky voice copying I.: "Vasya, dear ... I love you too ... I love you so ... I love ... »
At this point, everything will inevitably burst out laughing. But Tosha put a finger to his lips and shush us, ironically, whispering: "Shut up, you bastards, assholes sinful! Do not see what?? Our "doves" the first love scene! Be restraint and civility, blah! "With these words he put a tarantula on the ground a meter away from the balcony and ordered him to whisper:" John, Joe sent! Get them! ".
While Alex I. satisfied and tired tenderly embraced and kissed on the cold cement floor balcony, they were not aware that the events of the past days for them two are not over yet ... Unaware that after the declaration Toshey climax and violent denouement, followed by another and 'cadence'. That's a huge Circus Spider Basil quietly entered the balcony and crawled towards the couple. He approached the AI, now lying on its side, slid on his back, then on the blond hair. A little more, and he's already on her big breast, crouched and looked at point-blank, waiting for the fateful moment when she finally opens her eyes after a passionate kiss of love.
When this happens, heart-rending cry of blonde and our no less hysterical laughter for several minutes, stunned Alex. When she slowly recovered, we have a few hours trying to convince her that it was not a hallucination.
have passed since more than ten years, but the AI still surprised that in the morning not add on Vasin corpse to corpse of the other two pets. Like, "where two and three there.»
I secretly think she's just afraid of him. No, not the Basil, of course. But rather revenge Toshi. Be sent to them forever, this sarcastic cynic straight to hell.
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